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Curves in the Road
Tracy Forest • Aug 20, 2023
A funeral took me back to my hometown in north Florida this weekend, back to my great-grandparents' homestead, back to twisting, winding, country roads. As I was navigating back roads, trying to remember shortcuts to various family member's houses, I had to make some adjustments on the fly, like when I missed a turn and had to "bang a u-ey" by a cow pasture. It was really bad at night, because there are NO lights out in the boonies and every dirt road looks the same. It reminded me of my summer. There were some unexpected turns that caught me off guard, and I did not navigate them well. I wish there had been warning signs like the one in this photo...but would I have paid attention? Or would I have ignored the warnings and still crashed?
Sudden turns in our plans are inevitable regardless of how much we think we have things under control. The job has layoffs - sudden turn. The health report comes back less than great - sudden turn. A relationship ends - sudden turn. The washing machine breaks, the car starts making a funny noise, the A/C breaks - sudden turns, especially the latter!
As I was alone in our family cottage last night, contemplating my summer of turns, I ran through a range of emotions, from sadness, to anger, to defeat, and ultimately to resolve. When I was a mental health therapist, I encouraged my clients struggling with depression to tackle their day by getting dressed. Don't sit around in pajamas. Get dressed as soon as you get out of bed. Accomplishing that one thing will make you more likely to accomplish the next thing, like eating breakfast. I had to give myself the same instructions last night: do the next thing. I can't control the sudden turns, but I can control how I navigate them. I'm reminded of a passage from Proverbs: "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean NOT on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths." Yeah, I think I'll do that.
Dusk is my favorite time of day, sans mosquitoes. It is the end of a day whose tasks are either done or not, whose results are either success or failure or somewhere in between. My day started full of hope, but ended with disappointment due to circumstances beyond my control. I found my mood becoming sour over this one disappointment, disregarding all of the other good that occurred throughout the day. It is technically autumn here, and I'm in my happy season, Standard Time, the "fall back" season when my circadian rhythm finally feels in sync with the movements of nature. I rise with the sun, and quiet with its setting. I knew that I needed to escape the walls of the house to escape my mood and used the excuse that I needed to put the baby chicks to bed. How calming to see the sliver moon with Venus shining brightly beside, the last rays of sunset glowing behind our big oak tree. Eveningtide. Peace. (Breathe in, breathe out. Again.) It brought to mind the words of a hymn: "Abide with me, fast falls the eventide..." The author, Henry Francis Lyte, wrote the hymn after visiting with a friend with failing health. His own health was not good, suffering from tuberculosis, but he continued to preach and care for others even when his body was failing him. It is reported that he said, "It is better to wear out than to rust out." The scripture inspiration for the hymn comes from the book of Luke, where followers of Jesus were walking on the road to Emmaeus. Talk about disappointment! Their teacher had been crucified and buried, and now the body was missing, and the women at the tomb were babbling about Jesus being risen from the dead. (Yes, that's my interpretation of how it all went down.) As the followers walked and talked, a traveler joined them, a stranger that they did not yet recognize. As the day was ending, the followers asked the stranger to "abide" with them, stay, rest, eat. It was customary to offer such hospitality to strangers in the Hebrew culture, and it was in this act of resting and breaking bread together that Jesus revealed himself to them as the risen Christ. Abide. Breathe. Know that you have made it through another day, and dawn is coming with an opportunity to start anew.
These are cranberry hibiscus. We planted them from seeds, expecting a cute little shrub to add a pop of color to the landscape. Well, they bloomed where they were planted, but then branched out. A lot. We were shocked at their rapid growth, sprawling pattern, and dramatic color throughout the year. Their refusal to be rootbound has resulted in living privacy barriers that are low maintenance and just lovely. Have you ever seen a plant that is rootbound? The roots are tightly wound around each other, maintaining the shape of the container in which the plant was growing. When that plant is transplanted, those roots have to be ripped loose, even cut, in order to break free from their restrictive growth pattern. Only then can the plant thrive in its new location. I've been told throughout my life to bloom where I'm planted, and that served me well during the years of moving around with hubby's Navy career. I went into each new volunteer opportunity with a mission because I knew we were only going to be there for a few years. I remember a pastor in Maryland encouraging me to take time to find my spot, but I bluntly told him that I didn't have time to do that. Use me while you have me! While I bloomed (served) in each duty station, I realize that I was also rootbound. I used our restricted time and service to my family as reasons, but they were actually excuses because I wasn't willing to deal with my own "stuff." It wasn't until we became empty nesters that I fully addressed those things that were keeping me stuck. The Forest Farm is growing because I'm making ongoing choices to expand my roots. What is holding you back? Are you restricted by your circumstances or simply your own choices? I fully embrace the belief that we are each created with a purpose. I'll wager that there is a unique place for you in your sphere of influence, even if you don't recognize it yet. If you need help getting "transplanted," reach out! I would be honored to help launch you into a new season of growth. Be blessed! - Tracy
We had some very heavy rains in the garden last fall, and our freshly sprouted seedlings were taking a beating. To protect them, we put some layers of mesh loosely over the top. It helped the plants, but became a snare for this little warbler. I was able to rescue her, then gently held her in my hand while she calmed down and regained some energy after her panicked struggle to free herself. She likely would have died had I not found her, because our cats would have taken advantage of her circumstances. How often do we find ourself in similar situations in life? Choices made in haste, without fully surveying the situation, entrap us in circumstances that are harmful to us. We didn't intend to get stuck, and we might not be able to free ourselves without assistance. The struggle of trying to break free can be exhausting and even dangerous. We need an ally! During my years as a therapist, I saw many people who didn't want to ask for help. The song lied: you are not a rock, nor an island. We are designed to live in community with fellow humans. When we refuse to seek an ally, we are further harming ourselves and depriving someone else of being helpful. Seek out a safe person to help you find a different perspective, whether that is a friend, family member, counselor, pastor, teacher, etc. Be honest with that ally, not sugar coating or minimizing to protect your pride. Use that ally to help you learn the skills you need to avoid repeating the behavior that snared you. Implement your plan for breaking free by making at least one positive step every single day, and be accountable to your ally. Even allow yourself time and space to rest and regain your energy. Finally, remember that there is a God who wants to be our ally as well. The psalmist wrote about this in Psalm 124 (my paraphrase): What if God had not been on our side? We would have been overwhelmed, even killed! We escaped like a bird from a trap. Now the trap is broken and we are FREE! Celebrate your freedom today! - Tracy
"Respect your elders," was a phrase I heard often growing up in my small Southern town. It was understood that those who had spent more years on God's great green earth had valuable information to pass along to younger generations. Even so, I didn't fully grasp the concept of Seventh Generation principles until dramatic news of climate crisis had bombarded my psyche for years. When we finally settled on our little plot of land after hubby's Navy retirement, I wanted to do things differently. I didn't want to grow my family's food with pesticides and tons of fertilizer. What's the point in copying the methods of the mass-produced veggies already in my grocery store? The Seventh Generation Principle is derived from indigenous cultures that valued the relationship of humans to the natural world. In short, it advocates making choices with thought for the effect on seven generations in the future. How will my action today help or harm my great-great-great-great-great-grandchildren? WHEW! That seems like a lot of "greats," but if each generation is roughly 20 years, that is only thinking 140 years into the future. It is estimated that it takes a plastic bottle 450 years to break down in a landfill. In the United States, the average plastic use per person is in excess of 200 pounds per year. Do the math for seven generations to understand why we are struggling with waste management. This is where using the wisdom of our elders becomes helpful. In just three generations, our population has lost skills that our grandparents considered vital for survival, like sewing, canning, and gardening. Those tasks have been deemed trivial and tedious, even unnecessary by my generation. Until COVID. Nothing like a pandemic to flip our values upside down! Suddenly there is no bread on the shelves, milk is in short supply, and there's NO TOILET PAPER. Ummmmm....this could be a problem, people! Honestly, we didn't see dramatic difference in our daily life because we grow our own food and raise our own chickens. The shock came when I tried to order seeds and they were sold out! Seriously? Everyone became a gardener overnight? (Mental note: SAVE SEEDS.) No bread? No problem...I know how to bake delicious bread. Wait. There's no yeast on the shelves. My elders would have been more prepared because the Great Depression taught them that everything could be used and used again many times over. They wouldn't have needed store bought yeast because they would have had a sourdough starter ready to use. Seeds were routinely saved from one harvest to the next, and always from the best plants to insure good genetics in those seeds. Sewing extended the life of clothing, then transformed the same into quilts once the shirt could no longer be mended for wearing. They used glass, pottery, wood, metal, all things that are durable and intended for repeated use. Single use was expensive and there was no such thing as recycling. Even their flour sacks were made of cotton in pretty prints that were transformed into dresses and aprons. Personally, I am soaking up all the knowledge I can from my dad, who is 83 at the time of this writing. He was born on a farm, and has always had a love for the natural world. He has been taking me through the woods and pointing out the plants with medicinal or practical value, even something called "bear grass" that they used to hang hogs after slaughter. I would have thought it was a weed that needed to be mowed, but he knew its worth. Google can tell us a lot, but the personal connection with a senior is enriching on so many levels. Who is your elder that holds valuable information? What small changes can you make to improve life for that Seventh Generation? Just think: one day you will be the one imparting the wisdom, so gather it while you can! - Tracy
